Women Behind Bars

Last night for some reason that I don't quite comprehend, CNN's Larry King did a show from a Maryland women's prison. He featured five female prisoners, a former inmate who is now an actress, and the warden of the prison. I watched the program because I often think ahead to the days when David will be free to have a life partner. He has occasionally said that one of the things he has done right is not to have reproduced, but I am hopeful that one day he will fall in love and be loved back and that at least one child will result. It's a nice daydream, but as I think I said earlier, dreams can cost and for me it's probably not wise to get ahead of today.

Anyway, I do sometimes think about the kinds of women who might love my son. I know very little about those who were in his life in years past so am not sure who are his type. What I am hoping is that he will find a woman who has grown from her life experiences, and if she has spent time in prison, has made good use of the time while not embracing the institutional life. Of the five who were featured on the King show, only one impressed me with that kind of presence. Of course, tv doesn't always represent people accurately and I can only imagine the pressure of appearing on tv as a convicted felon in a prison, so I am aware that I don't really know enough about ANY of these specific women to make judgments.

The one who impressed me the most was Maria, a blonde woman who is serving a fifteen-year sentence for multiple burglaries accomplished with a male who is also serving time. As she and Larry King toured her "crib," and he asked about air conditioning, she said, "No air conditioning. It's a place to get yourself together. When you're here, you realize, hey, I've done something wrong." To me, that's where it starts: with an understanding and acceptance of who is responsible for the fact that one is incarcerated. I'm guessing that only a small percentage of prisoners are wrongfully convicted, even though of course it does happen, and if you're among that group there is no way to make that right.

Several of the women offered "reasons" for their incarceration, including one that amounted to "I have no recollection therefore no responsibility." That woman happens to be very beautiful and has married during her time in prison. She met her husband in the Visiting Room. The women represented convictions for murder, conspiracy, assault and burglary. Substance abuse seems to have played some role in all of these women's convictions.

Later in the program, Maria was asked whether it was true that she didn't feel ready to be released, and she said it was. She went on to say, " Not yet. I know everybody looks at that question and they think, wow. But I think in here you come to a point where you have to rehabilitate yourself, and you know what you need to do to get yourself right. I still have a few things to get right before I'm ready to walk out of these doors." To which, King responded: "Wow. A pretty enlightened position." Maria then went on to say, "Well, I mean, I don't want to ever have to do this again. So you get it right the first time." If that's how she really feels, then that's the kind of woman I hope my son meets, whether she's ever been in prison or not. And I wish for all the women I saw last night a better life and the personal power to make that happen whether they ever see "outside" or not.